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Meanderings of a Sociopath [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Blackangel

[ website | Angels and Demons the debate in Black and White ]
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25 things about me...do you care? [Feb. 12th, 2009|09:38 pm]
Blackangel
i stole this from kambrieloktober

1. I collect all things rare that are NBC (nightmare before christmas) and have a strange, yet unhealthy fasciniation with both Tim Burton and Danny Elfman

2. I secretly watch anime, code geass/maderana/ergo proxy/vapmire hunter d/princess miyu/etc...and i have to watch it alone, it is theraputic to me

3. I LOVE the sound of the ocean and the smell that accompanies it. Ther is something famliiar and lonely about it. I think i may have been an old seaman!

4. I have a HUGE fear of driving over bridges, i cannot drive over the coronado bridge without hyperventilating and i LOVE coronado. I have actually stopped traffic on the bridge to make david drive it!

5. I have serious anger management issues with always wanting break evil peoples kneecaps and blame it on being from philly, when in fact i just think hurting people who hurt those i care about should feel the physical pain accompanied with that they caused emotionally!

6. I am a neat freak, however ever since i have had liam, i find it hard to stay on top of things like i use to. The cats and thier free roaming litterbox drives me crazy, i secretly think of opening the back door to let them leave...;(

7. I do not trust easily and do not often allow people or invite people to my home. If you are invited it is beacuse i hold you in the highest regard and find you EXTREMELY trustworthy.

8. I collect all things Olivia and think her view of the human form (for females) is provactive and beautiful.

9. I know all the bands and songs from 1979 thru 1994 and can usually tell you the year the song came out, the album it came out on and what i was doing at the time i first heard it.

10. I never wanted to be married or have kids. I always doubt myself as both a wife and mother and find that sometimes it impedes my ability to be fair and resiliant as both.

11. I lost my children for 5 years and didn't see them for that time or speak to them. I officially won custody and child support on them both after a 10 year batter on February 3. 2009!

12. I have such love and compassion for my husband and truly believe he is my soul mate. From the moment we met I have always talked to him and we barely have ever slept apart since we started dating. We kept our relationship a secret for about 2 months as to not make people think we were doing something they may have cared about.

13. I have had a nervous break down almost 7 years ago in August this year. I found out after trying to kill myself that i was pregnant 1 month later. I always worry I may have done something to hurt my son.

14. There has been a HUGE change in my disposition over the last year where I am finding much more inner peace within myself and trying to right those things that may have caused pain to others. I am learning to understand the need of suffering and not wallowing in it and becoming a much more spiritual person within myself.

15. I want to travel the world with my husband and live every day like we just met.

16. I have been married 2 times, the first was a mistake. I have always wished that David was my first and only.

17. David is the only person who can and could talk me down in any situation, to this day i still ask myself when getting to the point of no return in my braind, WWDD? What would david do?

18. I have seen bad energy and channeled to form a harm to myself and family. I believe in ghosts and all things beyond our realm. I believe in reincarnation and that we as humans have little to no humanity left and this powers those spirits that wish us harm or simply wish to contact us. I have seen and talked to my dead grandfather as well as, my children have at one point all seen him in the house.

19. My favorite food is sushi and i do not eat seafood except for maguro!

20. I have a mathmatic and science mind. It must be explainable. Everything follows a sequence of numbers for me. I see math in everything. I can count cards, remember numbers forever and can tell you serial numbers off of albums i have owned (i owned at one point over 6000 albums)

21. I owned over 6000 albums. David and I own over 3000 cds and a ton more DVD's.

22. i long for the touch of my husband everyday, it literally makes the hair on my arms stand on end, it makes me feel beautiful.

23. I do not believe i am pretty or beautiful, nor do i believe i am ugly. I feel that I am average and abnormal at the same time.

24. I believe i will die, alone and with dementia and alzheimer's

25. I love the smell of formaldahyde, funeral homes and churches.
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Please.... [Jan. 23rd, 2009|01:20 am]
Blackangel
keep going, i live vicariously through you all...i really do.
don't stop doing what it is you do, i watch because i truly admire many of you
for maintaining yourself and your family....the hardest part of this life is learning from it and more importantly forgiving yourself of the things you may do.

this is all brought to you by the simple words my 5 year old laughed to me the other day, mom my heart is a machine and i feel only cold. how profound for such a small body to have such big emotions....he is going to change this world, i can feel it.

d
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ARhghghg.... [Jan. 6th, 2009|12:11 pm]
Blackangel
this is the sound my head and belly are making currently so I shall eat and hit the office in a few :) late morning with sleep in goodness and frolicly fun *wink*

ok I need help with something...WE, the man and I are out of things to watch on netflix...DAMNIT all the movies in our que are the "ok, we watched everything else these will have to do" ones :) Please recommend your favorites, I am all into horror, anime, cultural, independant ones and of course funny ones. Please don't mention The spartas or any crap like that as I want to enjoy the film not destroy my tv and dvd player ;)

I have made a resolution, my first one ever...i will loos 45 lbs this year, i need to I officially weighed myself yesterday and I almost died when i saw how much i weighed in at. It was a mind crushing 183lbs. I am 5'4 and am tired, not eating right and not exercising. So, with that being said I will operate like a true stealthy ninja and steal my body back. I want to hit Hawaii or Fiji in one years time and this will make it happen more quickly.

There will also be documentation on this, I will blog daily (to be posted later if you wish to follow with me) and pictures to go with it.

World of Warcraft will be a nighttime/once or twice a week thing from now on. I cannot continue to get caught up in leveling to 80 (even though i sadly have a 77 lock, 73 priest and a 30 mage)...I will enjoy it on my terms not through an addiction...DUDE i seriously need an intervention on this shit ;)

Also, I am doing a 365 of liam on flickr if anyone is interested in following along, just add me blackangeldemon, should be fun!

Ok, back to your regularly scheduled programs....MOVIES...NOW! ;)
d
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Xmas....come and gone.. [Dec. 26th, 2008|09:51 pm]
Blackangel
Wow, christmas was so laid back this year. The two older ones went to visit thier dad so David and I scored some major one on one time with Liam. He needed it. He has been growing up so fast and when he is surrounded by two teenagers and two sarcastic parents, it can be daunting to say the least.

Liam made out really well. He made out with a Life size Yoda, complete with lightsaber, the book Dear Dracula (which is so cute if you have kids that love the dark stuff, he loves gris grimly and edgar allen poe, go figure!), he got a Totoro stuffie and Catbus, along with miniature Totoro collectibles, he got a Pokemon L.E. DS and some clothes and coloring books.

David scored a custom made William Wallace sword and leather sheath and a new pair of Ecco's, between them and his mephisto's the man wears comfort!

I scored the best things ever, I got my Nikon D90, Sigma Lense (200-700 zoom), 4gb Memory card for camera and a beautiful garnet and diamond ring from the liamhead!

This is the year, the year i take all that creative force that has been building in my head for years and years and i let it loose on the world through my eyes. I started an Art Bistro page some time ago and now will succomb to the will of the Flicker! I want to start a 365 series for Liam and something called "The Eyes Have it."

Anywho, merry xmas, happy kwanza, happy chinese new year and all the funnest of them all....Let's keep in touch, shall we?
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RIP Bettie Page [Dec. 11th, 2008|09:16 pm]
Blackangel
If i could tell you the secrets locked in my head from days of pictures i saw of you in your youth, the stories they could tell. You lived a hard life, a full live and honestly with no regrets. Your passion for life and your religon drove you to accept all that you were and you will be sorely missed, but never forgotten!

http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-page12-2008dec12,0,5310709.story
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Items ending soon...get em cheap! [Dec. 5th, 2008|05:43 pm]
Blackangel
Brand new with Tags handbags, make-up bags and diaper bag. Harajuku Lovers, PhatBaby and Marc Ecko..check em out all ending in 24 hours or so!!

http://members.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewUserPage&userid=vestiges_gewrl

Thanks for looking!
dawne
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Writer's Block: QotD: When the Boss is Away… [Nov. 12th, 2008|12:40 pm]
Blackangel
[Tags|, , , ]

How do you entertain yourself when you’re bored at work?

Sorry i have to be honest and say - since i am the boss i look at porn and also play WoW!
:) besides who is going to fire me...lol
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Stolen from the Rapier ;) [Nov. 12th, 2008|12:22 pm]
Blackangel
Song of the Stars
Usually I think these are silly. My opinion has not changed in the slightest.

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
I believe what you said - Psychic TV

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
A.L.I.V.E - OOMPH!

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Do you know what I'm seeing? - Panic at the Disco

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Everlasting - Icon of Coil

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Loves's Secret Domain - Coil

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The World has its Shine - Cobra Starship

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Love Like Blood - Killing Joke

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Girl - Jim Sturgess

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Tennessee Stud - Johnny Cash

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Carbon - VNV Nation

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Boots and Braces - Screwdriver

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Fuck Me Pumps - Amy Winehouse

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
De(thats allright) Lilah - Flogging Molly

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Sympathy for the Devil - Laibach

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Watchlar - Cocteau Twins

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Radio Raheem - Foetus

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Death is not the End - Hyperdex - 1-Sect

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I heard Love is Blind - Amy Winehouse

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Where Have All the Good Times Gone? - Van Halen

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Denims & Curls - Chameleons

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Injection - Rise Against

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Forty Shades of Green - Johnny Cash

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
The Sexy Data Tango - Voltaire

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Longevity - Assemblage 23

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Blackbird - Sarah McLaughlin

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Keep My Picture! - Horrorpops

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Mind - X-Marks the Pedwalk
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because i laughed so i hard.... [Oct. 9th, 2008|10:56 pm]
Blackangel
that i actually started coughing for 5 minutes...you have to read the responses...they are....OBAMARRIFIC...(you will get the context towards the end)

http://www.topix.com/forum/topstories/TVGQVK8CULLVSPS1C

Enjoy!
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Looking for a Programmer for FT work [Oct. 9th, 2008|10:13 pm]
Blackangel
Must be local to san diego, have a great work ethic and be able to multi-task. We are looking for COLD FUSION experience, even if light experience we will consider training, open to do light IT work and travel to co-location facilities for upgrades and assist with misc task.

This position is for a go-getter. Someone who can work with little to no supervision and heavily supervised as well. Good customer service attitude and just be a good hard worker.

Offices are located in Escondido, CA. Tattoos and piercings ok. Not easily offended and can work with music and TV at times in the office ;)

Position is technically a JR Programmer with lite IT experience and is paying dependant upon experience.

If you know anyone or think you are qualified, pass it along and have them email dmorris@pixeled.net or dmm@pixeled.net

thanks,
dawne
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