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and it all begins at 18... - Meanderings of a Sociopath [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Blackangel

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and it all begins at 18... [Feb. 2nd, 2010|09:35 am]
Blackangel
So much happening in the last year that I feel like I have been neglecting everything and everyone.

As it stands now, I am 40 years old and the children are 18, 16 and 6. David and I have been married for 7 years but together officially for 12. Pixeled, the company is 13 years old and has been doing well.

Hmmm, let's start this with a bang!

Today, is the first day of the rest of your life - unless there are zombies outside your window and in that case you are fucked! :) I love that little saying. I posted in on my facebook some time ago and got quite a bit of laughter so I thought I would share it here.

Chelsea is 18 now. So many years of watching her grow, missing her, getting her back and continuing to watch her grow. She is beautiful, smart and very much me. She is sarcastic in nature and would rather read a book then deal with other people's drama. Her and her boyfriend Moikee have been dating officially now for a year and a half.

Chelsea spent almost 2 months in New Zealand with Moikee and his family right after graduation last year and then I had him out here for two weeks this past November for her birthday. I thought it was only fair we get to spend some time with him as Chelsea did with his family.

Moikee is a good kid, he is 18 so he is still deciding what he wants to be in life however, he is apprenticing with a butcher in New Zealand and aside from already loosing the tip of a finger (which we have now dubbed him ET) he makes good money and can provide for himself and his family.

So Chelsea, we all knew this was coming, hit me a few months ago with the fact that she wanted to move to New Zealand, become a citizen and go to school. I think it is important for her to experience the world, travel and above all else, enjoy being 18. Now, this doesn't mean I am not concerned that she may pull the preverbial, "Hey mom I am pregnant what do I do now" card (let's hope not). Yet I think in all of this if she thinks her happiness lies in New Zealand she should try it. David, not so happy with the whole thing.

I understand his view, Chelsea is almost like his own daughter - we raised her and watched her go on her first date, prom, graduate, etc..this is not okay by any father's means that his daughter is going to live 4200 miles away and with a man no less.

My experience has been, let her try it - she can say it did or didn't work out but she learned from the experience and she did try to make it work. Who know's maybe it will work, she has to try it. So on May 1, 2010 - I put my now grown daughter on a plane to move to New Zealand and will probably not see her for months.

In the meantime, I have Dillan who is 16 and a major point of contention in my relationship with my husband. We agree to disagree and that is not good BUT...Dillan has done many things that really just prove to me that most boys never get common sense at birth and if they are not taught it, it never comes.

Let's see the list of what Dillan Has Done successfully over the last 7 years:
1. Has successfully been suspended and/or expelled from every school from 6th grade to 9th grade.
2. Has spraypainted the wall on Valley Parkway (at 3pm in the afternoon mind you) got caught, was arressted, went to court, got a year on probation and over $600 in fines.
3. Was caught smoking and is now tested weekly for marijuana
4. Cannot tell a true fact without a lie - because he lies first then gets caught and then lies again - repeat/rinse for atleast 2 or 3 more times.
5. Stole David and my water jug of money - not leaving one penny and taking approximately $500+ in change....wtf?!
6. Is in a general education school for bad kids because the regular high school thinks he is a "gang" mentality child.

And those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head, give me another day and that list could quadruple!

What makes me sad is he is so talented. He is funny, smart and artistic. When he tries to make people like him he becomes a follower, he is meant to be a leader - as are all my children. He should command a room and command attention through positive behavior and not negative and these are things he is learning. He asked me for a tattoo the other day. He wants to put "peace will come" on his inner bicep. I am undecided if I should let him do this because I am not sure he wants it have or because he believe in it.

He is doing well in the new school. For the first time in 7 years his teachers tell me he is ahead, doing well and get this, a pleasure to have in class. Whew! about time.

Dillan is dating a girl Cierra and she is nice a pretty girl. He seems to really like her and this is the longest he has ever dated a girl before dumping her or making them dump him. He actually talks to her and she has been included in many family outings. I just need to get him to lay off the PDA.

Then there is Liam. Liam is funny, artistic, talented and a boy who is the most compassionate 6 year old I ever met. I am learning so much from him as he goes through live right now. Much of what I am learning is how to "BE" and be patient.

His brain is so scientific and mathmatical and the way he breaks down thought at 6 is well, scarey. Every question I ask him is answered with another question and he tends to think like David - questions are theories and only one step closer to an answer, maybe.

Liam is now half way through first grade. Aside from minor issues in behavior learned from his older brother, Liam is reading at the top of his class, math is something he excels at and his drawing is off the charts. Not to mention he loves to sing. There are times when I hear him singing Peter Murphy or This Mortal Coil and I have this little smile across my lips - then all of a sudden he starts singing Lady Gaga or Aqua and I bust out into laughter.

He goes to a private lutheran academy. Now mind you David and I are not religous but the education system is better there and they love him unconditionally. I think it is important that he understand God - the man, the myth, the legend. I think he will have good grounding and be well versed in his know of what he wants and doesn't want in religon when he is older. Who knows, maybe he will be a bible thumper and not speak to me when he is older because i find humor in getting receipts that say "666".
*shrug*

In any case, aside from not being completely potty trained he is off the charts smart, he is stubborn and he is all boy. Liam was scouted by the Rancho Santa Fe soccer league (at 6, i know - but he is that good) and made the travel team B for U8. He is a great Keeper, a one hour practice and only one ball got passed him. He is a natural.

All of the kids are amazing in their own ways, I love them and wouldn't trade them for anything - well atleast not yet :)

David and I are doing well, Pixeled is growing by leaps and bounds and everyday I love and hate my life because I cannot control everything..lol

What is tomorrow but another day.

d
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: msformaldehyde
2010-02-02 05:47 pm (UTC)
I think she will do great in New Zealand. WOW what a great life experience to have. You know?

Boys will be boys they are always in trouble!

I feel pretty lucky with Dillon. He is so sweet and after the year we had things are looking up:)
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[User Picture]From: kambriel
2010-02-02 05:57 pm (UTC)
For Chelsea, I think this is going to be a monumental experience for her, and I'm glad you're supportive of her pull to go there and try things out. It's possible to think, but you're 18, live more of life first, and yet, perhaps this is *exactly* what that's all about. It's a chapter she's compelled to live, and who knows what magic it will lead to.

Dillan reminds me a lot of my brother at that age. He asked for a tattoo back then too, and much to my dad's chagrin, got it. That said, he now owns a tattoo shop which has won multiple Best of the Bay awards, so sometimes things have a way or working themselves out over time. Sixteen is a *hard* age, but he'll get through the coming years (though right now that just equals one day at a time) and I have full faith in him and his future.

Liam is going to kick butt at algebra! I remember when I started to learn algebra, I looked at it in life terms of you have this huge, seemingly unwieldy problem, and you just have to take it down step by step, until at the end you reach the simplest clarification.

Life's a balance, but it sounds like as far as the big picture is concerned, you were dealt a blessed hand! :)
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[User Picture]From: josiefiend
2010-02-02 06:49 pm (UTC)
Gosh, Dillan and Zoe sound like twins except there haven't been any official arrests yet -- although she's only 13. She has been hauled away by the police twice, however, to County Mental Health and Sharp Mesa Vista. That was fun!

At least she seems to be doing better in school this month. They transferred her into a new class at the end of the year and it actually seems to be helping. I hope they both are able to stick with it!
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