| it seems like only yesterday... |
[May. 2nd, 2009|08:43 am] |
when you were so tiny and made the most hysterical squeeky noises from your crib. There was a time when i looked at you and thought, "I want to keep you safe from harm and keep you in my pocket!" and then here you are.
my daughter is 17, today is the senior prom. literally in 3 1/2 weeks she graduates from High School and will be heading off to New Zealand for 2 weeks (we may go too) and then she comes back to start college!
so much has gone right in life with her, she is beautiful, smart, sassy and funny! she made the honor roll and has rolled straight A's and B's all year. She loves music, she writes incredibly well and has an imagination that spans the galaxy.
i feel like the proudest mom right now and hope that in time she will be able to say i was/am her best friend.
i am so proud right now...*a small tear escapes*
d |
|
|
| in the land of milk and honey.... |
[Mar. 19th, 2009|09:08 am] |
so much going on, so busy....in order of no specifics my life this last 30 days
1. got call from sisters, dad was in hospital. Father has necropathy and lost a part of his foot due to diabetes and sores that would not heal for over 3 years...lesson here: take care of your body or it will fail you. Dad is doing better, staying off both feet and being fed with anti-biotics at home with nurse.
2. sister called me last night, she is divorcing her husband. While i am glad she came to the decision to do this, it will be hard for her, she loves him. She finally realized one sided love hurts and it always ends. I tried to be the big sister voice of reason and not sway her in what I thought was best, although in the end i think my non censor self did just that.
3. Work, Work, Work...wow I have been busting ASS at work. ALl the projects I am working on are opening and closing in a proper PM style. I am proud of myself. My weakness in life has always been wanting to do everything, starting it and then letting it just fade like time in a windstorm.....What am i working on you ask, well glad you asked...I am working on:
-Search engine Releases and Keyword Updates for all things Google
-Launching my adultunderground.net Project for alternative lifestyles
-Launching the new and improved IlluminatedHosting.com website
-Finalizing the new pixeled.net website for April 1 release
-Trademarked all logos and text for companies
-SAS70 audit process....half way complete
-patenting Proteus accounting business software...GOODBYE Intuit! ;) unless you want to buy us of course :) then hello mommy!
4. Working on my anger management and trying to become a better mommy. I feel like I don't spend enough time on myself and my kids that I am trying to rectify that.
5. Falling in love with husband ALL over again, this happens daily but i thought I should put it in here!
6. Laying down the addiction to WoW and all things powerful and only play sporadically at best...
7. I WILL I WILL get in contact on all those projects i let fall through my finger tips to fix, finish and wax them up for release!!
I love you all, truly i do...We should really have coffee sometime :)
d |
|
|
| Dawne's pet projects...... |
[Mar. 18th, 2009|08:33 am] |
So many of you know that when i get passionate about something I tend to over think it until it becomes an obession and the obession becomes reality.
About 9 years ago I started an adult project called adultunderground.net that was going to cater to the hosting needs of those who live the "fetish" life. So many complaints I heard about these so called adult site hosting companies inadvertly shutting down or not taking calls just seemed bogus to me. Here they are charging an arm and a leg for budget bandwidth and then they just go away.
So anyway, I noticed this morning that Darenzia's site was down, this got me thinking about those who rely on thier sites to book shoots, sell goods and otherwise are thier product in a fetish lifestyle who cannot get a break with hosting.
Well, I am opening my baby to the public today and going life with www.adultunderground.net a site that will cater to the hosting (shared, dedicated and co-location) of those who live and need a web host who is reliable and dedicated to keeping thier site up, so they can ultimately make money!
Why am I posting this here, well I figured what is the best way to announce this then to my friends who some live this way or know or have friends who need my services and can vouch that I am a business of 13 years strong and growing still that may be able to let thier friends/collegues know.
If you know of anyone and they need my service in this area, send them my way and I will do even better. The first 10 will get the very special "RED" Iphone as a thank you after a full month of thier service!!!!
Why red, well check our my site, it is pretty awesome in the design and well, red is a pretty fetish color! So, let me know...if you, your friends or thier friends need help in this area, I will and can take care of them.
Afterall, I understand the life as a woman and as a business owner!
Thanks,
dawne |
|
|
| 25 things about me...do you care? |
[Feb. 12th, 2009|09:38 pm] |
i stole this from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) kambrieloktober
1. I collect all things rare that are NBC (nightmare before christmas) and have a strange, yet unhealthy fasciniation with both Tim Burton and Danny Elfman
2. I secretly watch anime, code geass/maderana/ergo proxy/vapmire hunter d/princess miyu/etc...and i have to watch it alone, it is theraputic to me
3. I LOVE the sound of the ocean and the smell that accompanies it. Ther is something famliiar and lonely about it. I think i may have been an old seaman!
4. I have a HUGE fear of driving over bridges, i cannot drive over the coronado bridge without hyperventilating and i LOVE coronado. I have actually stopped traffic on the bridge to make david drive it!
5. I have serious anger management issues with always wanting break evil peoples kneecaps and blame it on being from philly, when in fact i just think hurting people who hurt those i care about should feel the physical pain accompanied with that they caused emotionally!
6. I am a neat freak, however ever since i have had liam, i find it hard to stay on top of things like i use to. The cats and thier free roaming litterbox drives me crazy, i secretly think of opening the back door to let them leave...;(
7. I do not trust easily and do not often allow people or invite people to my home. If you are invited it is beacuse i hold you in the highest regard and find you EXTREMELY trustworthy.
8. I collect all things Olivia and think her view of the human form (for females) is provactive and beautiful.
9. I know all the bands and songs from 1979 thru 1994 and can usually tell you the year the song came out, the album it came out on and what i was doing at the time i first heard it.
10. I never wanted to be married or have kids. I always doubt myself as both a wife and mother and find that sometimes it impedes my ability to be fair and resiliant as both.
11. I lost my children for 5 years and didn't see them for that time or speak to them. I officially won custody and child support on them both after a 10 year batter on February 3. 2009!
12. I have such love and compassion for my husband and truly believe he is my soul mate. From the moment we met I have always talked to him and we barely have ever slept apart since we started dating. We kept our relationship a secret for about 2 months as to not make people think we were doing something they may have cared about.
13. I have had a nervous break down almost 7 years ago in August this year. I found out after trying to kill myself that i was pregnant 1 month later. I always worry I may have done something to hurt my son.
14. There has been a HUGE change in my disposition over the last year where I am finding much more inner peace within myself and trying to right those things that may have caused pain to others. I am learning to understand the need of suffering and not wallowing in it and becoming a much more spiritual person within myself.
15. I want to travel the world with my husband and live every day like we just met.
16. I have been married 2 times, the first was a mistake. I have always wished that David was my first and only.
17. David is the only person who can and could talk me down in any situation, to this day i still ask myself when getting to the point of no return in my braind, WWDD? What would david do?
18. I have seen bad energy and channeled to form a harm to myself and family. I believe in ghosts and all things beyond our realm. I believe in reincarnation and that we as humans have little to no humanity left and this powers those spirits that wish us harm or simply wish to contact us. I have seen and talked to my dead grandfather as well as, my children have at one point all seen him in the house.
19. My favorite food is sushi and i do not eat seafood except for maguro!
20. I have a mathmatic and science mind. It must be explainable. Everything follows a sequence of numbers for me. I see math in everything. I can count cards, remember numbers forever and can tell you serial numbers off of albums i have owned (i owned at one point over 6000 albums)
21. I owned over 6000 albums. David and I own over 3000 cds and a ton more DVD's.
22. i long for the touch of my husband everyday, it literally makes the hair on my arms stand on end, it makes me feel beautiful.
23. I do not believe i am pretty or beautiful, nor do i believe i am ugly. I feel that I am average and abnormal at the same time.
24. I believe i will die, alone and with dementia and alzheimer's
25. I love the smell of formaldahyde, funeral homes and churches. |
|
|
| Please.... |
[Jan. 23rd, 2009|01:20 am] |
keep going, i live vicariously through you all...i really do.
don't stop doing what it is you do, i watch because i truly admire many of you
for maintaining yourself and your family....the hardest part of this life is learning from it and more importantly forgiving yourself of the things you may do.
this is all brought to you by the simple words my 5 year old laughed to me the other day, mom my heart is a machine and i feel only cold. how profound for such a small body to have such big emotions....he is going to change this world, i can feel it.
d |
|
|
| ARhghghg.... |
[Jan. 6th, 2009|12:11 pm] |
this is the sound my head and belly are making currently so I shall eat and hit the office in a few :) late morning with sleep in goodness and frolicly fun *wink*
ok I need help with something...WE, the man and I are out of things to watch on netflix...DAMNIT all the movies in our que are the "ok, we watched everything else these will have to do" ones :) Please recommend your favorites, I am all into horror, anime, cultural, independant ones and of course funny ones. Please don't mention The spartas or any crap like that as I want to enjoy the film not destroy my tv and dvd player ;)
I have made a resolution, my first one ever...i will loos 45 lbs this year, i need to I officially weighed myself yesterday and I almost died when i saw how much i weighed in at. It was a mind crushing 183lbs. I am 5'4 and am tired, not eating right and not exercising. So, with that being said I will operate like a true stealthy ninja and steal my body back. I want to hit Hawaii or Fiji in one years time and this will make it happen more quickly.
There will also be documentation on this, I will blog daily (to be posted later if you wish to follow with me) and pictures to go with it.
World of Warcraft will be a nighttime/once or twice a week thing from now on. I cannot continue to get caught up in leveling to 80 (even though i sadly have a 77 lock, 73 priest and a 30 mage)...I will enjoy it on my terms not through an addiction...DUDE i seriously need an intervention on this shit ;)
Also, I am doing a 365 of liam on flickr if anyone is interested in following along, just add me blackangeldemon, should be fun!
Ok, back to your regularly scheduled programs....MOVIES...NOW! ;)
d |
|
|
| Xmas....come and gone.. |
[Dec. 26th, 2008|09:51 pm] |
Wow, christmas was so laid back this year. The two older ones went to visit thier dad so David and I scored some major one on one time with Liam. He needed it. He has been growing up so fast and when he is surrounded by two teenagers and two sarcastic parents, it can be daunting to say the least.
Liam made out really well. He made out with a Life size Yoda, complete with lightsaber, the book Dear Dracula (which is so cute if you have kids that love the dark stuff, he loves gris grimly and edgar allen poe, go figure!), he got a Totoro stuffie and Catbus, along with miniature Totoro collectibles, he got a Pokemon L.E. DS and some clothes and coloring books.
David scored a custom made William Wallace sword and leather sheath and a new pair of Ecco's, between them and his mephisto's the man wears comfort!
I scored the best things ever, I got my Nikon D90, Sigma Lense (200-700 zoom), 4gb Memory card for camera and a beautiful garnet and diamond ring from the liamhead!
This is the year, the year i take all that creative force that has been building in my head for years and years and i let it loose on the world through my eyes. I started an Art Bistro page some time ago and now will succomb to the will of the Flicker! I want to start a 365 series for Liam and something called "The Eyes Have it."
Anywho, merry xmas, happy kwanza, happy chinese new year and all the funnest of them all....Let's keep in touch, shall we? |
|
|
| Stolen from the Rapier ;) |
[Nov. 12th, 2008|12:22 pm] |
Song of the Stars
Usually I think these are silly. My opinion has not changed in the slightest.
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
I believe what you said - Psychic TV
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
A.L.I.V.E - OOMPH!
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Do you know what I'm seeing? - Panic at the Disco
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Everlasting - Icon of Coil
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Loves's Secret Domain - Coil
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The World has its Shine - Cobra Starship
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Love Like Blood - Killing Joke
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Girl - Jim Sturgess
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Tennessee Stud - Johnny Cash
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Carbon - VNV Nation
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Boots and Braces - Screwdriver
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Fuck Me Pumps - Amy Winehouse
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
De(thats allright) Lilah - Flogging Molly
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Sympathy for the Devil - Laibach
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Watchlar - Cocteau Twins
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Radio Raheem - Foetus
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Death is not the End - Hyperdex - 1-Sect
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I heard Love is Blind - Amy Winehouse
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Where Have All the Good Times Gone? - Van Halen
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Denims & Curls - Chameleons
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Injection - Rise Against
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Forty Shades of Green - Johnny Cash
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
The Sexy Data Tango - Voltaire
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Longevity - Assemblage 23
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Blackbird - Sarah McLaughlin
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Keep My Picture! - Horrorpops
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Mind - X-Marks the Pedwalk |
|
|
| Looking for a Programmer for FT work |
[Oct. 9th, 2008|10:13 pm] |
Must be local to san diego, have a great work ethic and be able to multi-task. We are looking for COLD FUSION experience, even if light experience we will consider training, open to do light IT work and travel to co-location facilities for upgrades and assist with misc task.
This position is for a go-getter. Someone who can work with little to no supervision and heavily supervised as well. Good customer service attitude and just be a good hard worker.
Offices are located in Escondido, CA. Tattoos and piercings ok. Not easily offended and can work with music and TV at times in the office ;)
Position is technically a JR Programmer with lite IT experience and is paying dependant upon experience.
If you know anyone or think you are qualified, pass it along and have them email dmorris@pixeled.net or dmm@pixeled.net
thanks,
dawne |
|
|
| The media circus known as "the election campaign of 2008" |
[Oct. 8th, 2008|10:38 am] |
Ok so many of you know me personally on here and know very matter-of-factly, I do not vote. I usually steer clear or elections, voter based systems and anything governmental. Now albeit it is not because i choose to be ignorant however, I hold a dual citizenship in both the United States as well as, The Republic of Ireland.
With that being said, I have actually been working on making myself a bit more knowledgible about the elctions this year. Yes, I know that truly the electoral colleges decides who wins ultimately, but our electoral colleges are determined by our state wide voter groups of who is on what ticket (dem, rep, green, etc.)
I am truly concerned about this election round! McCain/Palin vs. Obama/Biden...is this a freaking WWF match gone terribly wrong? I am now waiting for hot girls in bikinis to start marching around these 100,000 seat stadium events with cards holding the number of the round we are.
My opinions on McCain/Palin: McCain may be old but hello, how many of our other presidents weren't old too. Bush, Bush, Regan, etc...you get the idea. I am tired of hearing the OMG if McCain wins he will die and Palin will be running the country. Well what is Palin is eaten by a moose family she out to shoot one day, who would be running the country then that is right...another idiot!
Palin is far out of reach with our needs as a country because in her own words, "She is not a washington insider, she is from Alaska and things are done different up there." Of course they are, you have no night for two weeks out the year and you are so busy blackballing every tom, dick and harry that your kids are out having sex, getting knocked up and your moose shooting.
So obviously I am not a fan of them personally. Professionally however, as a mid-size business owner, thier tax breaks will remain positive for me, they will make sure the upper middle class don't have to be cut down because some baffoon is living off of 5 generations of welfare. Thier stance on business taxes are fair and the people who actually work to make miney can keep a good portion of it.
BUT....if you are poor or lower-income, you will still suffer. This is not fair either but i do not feel it is my place to take care of everyone and the government shouldn't make me either. Let me give on my own terms and to those I FEEL need it, not the other way around.
ONTO THE OTHERSIDE:
Obama, he is a nice guy with great potential...POTENTIAL...is he ready to run a country, don't think so...He is too new. Too nice and honestly he wouldn't last long as the president anyway! I know you all are thinking it too, if he becomes president some idiot who is anti-black or feels a black man shouldn't be president (even tho we have had a black president before - look into your history) will try to assassinate him.
Then there is this little voice in my head, the BIBLE voice (i am an anthiest, too) he who is loved by all will bear the mark of devil and bring torment upon the land in the name of the beast and shall represent the number 666. Blah, Blah, Blah....everyone likes this guy, no LOVES him...wonder where his #'s are hidden...lol
I actaully LOVE obama, from a personal perspective he is witty, in love, holds values of life, love and the american dream. Things that we try to hold onto as americans but seem to be ripped out from under us by the government that runs this country. I AM LOOSING thousands of dollars because our current president can't speak, spell or otherwise wipe his own ass.
From the business perspective here on thier ticket, lower and middle class should get wealthier off the wealthy and those who are working hard and making thier money should not get tax breaks or incentives but we should give the extra to those below us and you guessed it, if you make $75,000 or more a year you are considered wealthy in his book. Personal and Business based taxes will severly be hindered.
Biden, has values, expereienced a good, solid life with losse experienced and will bring the above noted Obama the experience he needs to run the country...am i comfortable with him being the next president as well, yes. Because if what i said above did happen he would naturally succeed Obama.
Which brings me full circle to my original paragraph, I am not a voter, I do not vote for fear of lossing my dual citizenship. I WOULD vote in this election because i think that if i was the one person who did make a small change in NOT HAVING McCain/Palin win then i would sacrifice all that, citizenship, money to make that change...it feels weird to say it out loud.
I don't want to see women take 20 steps backwards as i feel palin has done for us. As much as i don't like Hillary Clinton, she did emphasize strength in a women is good and the stronger the better.
McCain is outdated, his view on life are outdated and he cannot bring this country into a better place with his values and beliefs.
I think gays should be allowed to marry, love sees no gender. I believe that drilling for oil in Alaska should not be allowed onshore, there is precious life and oil to more oil is not the answer, alternative fuel is. I belive that fundementally church and state should be seperate and that everyone who believes or doesn't has that right, teach it in the homes or the private sector but do not enforce your beliefs in a public setting.
Those are just a few things.
I needed to get this off my chest because my husband i believe is for the mccain/palin ticket and I don't agree with him. I think he looks at it from a money perspective and not a life perspective.
And honestly I want a president who can and will take the high road not bring about mass violence, hate mongering and slanderous insults on another human being.
Ahhh the great buddhha must be turning on his lillypad!
Dawne |
|
|
| Hi my name is dawne and I am addicted to... |
[Jun. 17th, 2008|04:36 pm] |
The World of Warcraft...
I have a level 70 lock (all epics thank you very much) and a level 66 priest (working on the mooncloth, oh yeah!!)...yes i am no longer enganged in civil conversations with my husband :)
I love the game and he hates me...I am addicted....I need help...then i found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVhwwFHGEFI
Now see those of you who play and watched, pee'd your pants :) Now if only my husband would find this funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVhwwFHGEFI
I am sad...sad...sad...hopefully he won't divorce my ass (or maybe he is secretly jealous because he is a 70 warrior and I can still kick his ass without a priest) ;)
*sigh*
I need a life!
;)
d |
|
|
| LOST DOG IN LOS ANGELES, PLEASE HELP FIND....SHE IS LOVED AND MISSED!! |
[Apr. 22nd, 2008|07:04 pm] |
Hi everyone. Please pass this along to anyone you know in the Los Angeles area.
A good friend of mine was in a bad car accident and their dog got out of the car and ran off and now they cant find her. Please pass this along and thank you. Lets bring moo back home safely.
LOST Chihuahua - white w/black spots - REWARD $$$
My boyfriend and I were in a very bad car accident last night (Monday April 21, 2008) on Fountain and Mc Cadden. My pet chihuahua, Moo, was in the car with us. She appeared unharmed, however she freaked out and ran away up the block. Witnesses say she was last seen safely crossing Highland at De Longpre.
I yelled for help and for someone to catch her, but the gawkers just stood around doing nothing. Despite being hurt we wandered the streets for 3 hour putting up 200 posters last night and 100 more yesterday. I put up more posters today, as well. I'm offering a generous reward for her safe return.
If you return my dog I'm prepared to pay in the triple digits in addition to my eternal gratitude. Please help.
Her name is Moo, shes about 4 years old and between 5 to 7 lbs. She's very smart, white with a near-perfect black circle on her back in addition to other black spots. See photo and email me with any questions. Thank you so much.
Please repost anywhere you can!
Please contact Zoe at zoeticaebb@hotmail.com if you have any info. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
